I know I’m a huge slacker when it comes to blogging, but I promised myself I would blog about the Monster Ball. How can I put the best night of my life into words? The amount of fun I had is ridiculous, but it wasn’t just about the fun, or even the music. It was about the freedom. For some reason, the atmosphere of the night felt so different. Maybe it was because there were protestors at the doors, yelling hateful messages at anyone who had anything to do with that night. I’m actually kind of thankful the protestors were there, because it put Gaga in the best mood. She was so encouraging, and talked to her fans like we were her best friends. She poured nothing but love and unity into her Little Monsters, and it felt so right.
Towards the beginning of the show, she gave us the most liberating speech.
“So tonight, I want you to free yourself. I want you to let go of all your insecurities. I want you to reject anyone who has ever made you feel insecure, or like you didn’t belong. Or maybe you weren’t pretty enough, or thin enough. Or maybe you were gay and they didn’t understand. Tonight, I want you to remember that God designed each and every one of you to be a superstar, and you were born with it. I created the Monster Ball so my fans would have a place to go. Tonight, all the freaks are outside, and I locked the fucking doors! Tonight, and every night after, you can be whoever you want to be.”
I have never screamed so loud in my life. I have honestly never felt so free, and actually PROUD of who I am. I wish every night was the Monster Ball, so I could hear those words over and over again until the day I die. But now I have them. I have them here, and in my heart. A little piece of me died that night, but a more beautiful me was born. I left my insecurities at the foot of Gaga’s stage, and took home a deep love for myself, and pride in who I am. I danced with strangers, and sang so loud that I could only hear myself over the roaring crowd.
In the words of Gaga, “I’m a free bitch!”
And I have never felt better.